Critical Investigation first draft: Learner response

1) Type up your teacher comments from your first draft - these are your main targets that you must address.

www: 
Wide-ranging research: engaging well with theory

ebi:
Intro- 
needs working own, state hypothesis and what you are hoping to prove in the essay.
Context-
why is the move so groundbreaking and successful
Quotes-
don't make them too long but rather break them down, embed them
Paragraph-
break them down since they are too long
Research-
-More footnotes 50+ to show intensive research
Bibliography-
-alphabetical  

2) Write what level/mark/grade you are aiming for in your second draft.

A solid A grade, as it was a low B  before want to just use my extensive research to an advantage to show the examiner I have thought extensively on my chosen topic and text.

3) Write a numbered action plan of at least five things - ideally one for each of the eight EBIs you received in feedback in your Peer Assessment lessons - that you will do or change for your second draft that will help you get there. Be specific and explain in detail.

1. To use what I researched and apply that to my Bibliography- as the research is very extensive
2. Use more media terminology and theorists 
3. Use of audience concepts
4. MORE ON: Alvarado "dangerous" "pitied" "poverty", Fanon, Post-colonialism effects  , Representation of Black people
5. Alvarado "dangerous"- link to the hegemonic 
6. Make explicit references to these theorists  
7. More topics and open/discussions- towards institutional racism 
8. More critical debates- i.e Ownership and Control that the media has or the effects of globalisation
9. Institutionally the money given to the movie- was it like other black movies, are there any black movie directors; if so was the budget higher or lower than Moonlight
10. NDM- how having a digital presence on social media and since the topic of the movie is important in society that it gained i's success
11. Genre theories- Coming of age, does it follow those typical conventions (though mentioned in later paragraphs) go into a more detail which may link to the institution values; have they made movies like this, is it their first, '12 Years a Slave'